OurPhilosophy

Kris shares the basis and benefits of Slow & Wild’s practice and sisterhood

This is no religion, I don’t do dogma, and I sure as hell won’t proclaim that I’ve gotten to the promised land so you can too.

Slow & Wild is simply a community of brave, big-hearted women whose bodies and souls ached for this liberating sisterhood, movement practice, and form of raw, sensual expression as much as mine did––and does. We break rules, throw striving and perfectionism out the window, and make a mess on purpose. Because it’s MEDICINE.

Here we trade shame, blame, and the good girl prison for embodied freedom and the reclamation of our power, wholeness, and sensuality.

We work with soulful, empathic, and body positive women like you who are equal parts

fierce and tender

These women are innately passionate and have a creative fire burning within. They also:

  • hunger for deep connection, full self-expression, and a stripping away of anything that limits their freedom or aliveness

  • have felt stifled or diminished in their roles and relationships, likely from unintentionally abandoning themselves and their truth

  • have a deep need to move their bodies intentionally and regularly; they find modalities like yoga and dance vital to their day-to-day well-being;

  • desire to dislodge stuck or suppressed emotion, AKA “issues in their tissues” that can show up like anxiety, mental fog, chronic bodily tension, insomnia, and even depression

  • are beginning to understand that over-thinking is under-feeling, and they’re ready to feel (and heal)

  • are likely in transition, in a state of becoming, going through a confusing or overwhelming time of change, or evolving into the next version of themselves and their identity; they’re unable to keep being who they’ve always been and coping in the same ways they always have

  • are actively seeking clarity and greater understanding about what’s emerging for them right now; what needs to be accepted, integrated, released, or reconfigured

  • sense that awakening and exploring the darker, socially taboo aspects of their feminine nature would bring about an unparalleled groundedness, rootedness, and the exact flavor of power restoration they’re calling in

  • have a strong need to restore the connection to their core self, primal longings, instincts, sensuality, repressed dreams and desires, and exiled parts of themselves that they’ve deemed unlovable or unacceptable

    And the big one:

  • They long for a truly safe band of sisters––free from competition, unsolicited coaching, cattiness, posturing, drama, judgment, and facades; where guards come down and everyone can be real, seen, and celebrated for who they are at their core; where all parts of the wild woman, especially the untamed and erotic, can come out to play.

 movement 

 This 

  practice 

and its accompanying rituals for self-care, deepening emotional intelligence, and growing erotic power (the root of all creative power) were born out of my own suffering––a depression that dragged on and kept me small and stuck for years. The self-reclamation tools that emerged, offered the most radical transformation, and stood the test of time are the ones I kept, and they became the basis of this practice. They continue to bring me back home to myself every day. I’m grateful to have them and it is my honor and privilege to share them with you through Slow & Wild.

As you might imagine, this practice didn't always look graceful or even resemble dance.

That’s still the case some days, and those have become my favorites.

The unapologetic, mesmerizingly unladylike practices––when limbs quiver; tears roll; feet flex; hips thrust; talons claw; face smushes into the mat; lips snarl, torso contorts and swings; head whips, ass pops, flesh jiggles, and audible, animalistic sighs and sounds fill the air space.

It’s so beautifully human, raw, pure and powerful––this whole “open up and empty out” business.

I discovered it by accident when I was deep in my own healing journey. I saw how deep the pain went, and went all the way there. Day after day, moving on my mat, emoting… diving further and further down into its layers.

I gave the pain its life in me.

wants more of itself

LIFE ALWAYS

The intense energy, aches, and sensations that felt like they might kill me didn’t.

I let myself experience them and let my dance become them. I ushered them through me like a fucking alchemist. The tension, sadness, fear, regret, grief, or anger I experienced didn’t have to mean anything about me or my life. I could detach from any thoughts or stories about the emotion and just let it be somatic (“of the body”) and let it move. Let it be energy-in-motion or e-motion. Phenomenon passing through.

The more I did, the more connected I felt to my own life force and innate worthiness, and the more my power, passions, and intuition came flooding back in. This is because:

live in our tissues

OUR ISSUES

We free ourselves when we finally let them go by giving them space to be fully felt.

I learned that in my first yoga teacher training 20 years ago, and again in grad school (for Marriage and Family Therapy). I learned about how trauma (whether “Big-T Trauma”/single episode or “little-t trauma”/recurring relational) is stored in the brain and body when it remains unprocessed. You might have a sense of it residing in your nervous system now.

Nearly everyone experiences trauma at some point in their lives. It can come about through single or recurring experiences with:

  • verbal, physical, sexual, or psychological abuse including gaslighting and neglect

  • separation from a parent or caregiver

  • dysfunction at home

  • racism

  • violence

  • discrimination

  • bullying

  • a breakup or infidelity

  • toxic relationships

  • a major illness or life change (even a move can be traumatic)

  • the death of a loved one

  • a job loss

When these traumas get stored in our bodies, they become our core wounds and we unconsciously go about doing everything in our power NOT to feel them. This is known as unconscious avoidance.

To the yogis, energetic and emotional wounds from traumatic moments that were too overwhelming for the inner resources available at the time are known as Samskaras. Others call them emotional baggage, demons, or fracture points in the psyche. Whatever label you use…

OUR CORE WOUNDS AFFECT US

 mentally, emotionally, 

 physiologically + relationally. 

Even (and especially) if we’re unaware of their presence and impact on us.

You may see this reflected in someone’s posture as if they’re carrying around an unbearable weight. It may prevent them from moving forward in life, as it did me for years. Unprocessed emotions can affect the way we think about ourselves, how we react to stress, our ability to relax and be present, our physical well-being, and our capacity to connect and get along with others.

Core wounds impact cognitive processes as well, especially our memory. Memories of traumatic experiences aren’t logged in the brain the same way most memories are. They’re encoded more like pictures or body sensations, hence the reason they can later cause flashbacks. It’s akin to having a virus in our operating system.

It makes sense, then, why our unprocessed core wounds tend to come out sideways, like malfunctions in the system. They lead to the development of symptoms and maladaptive coping mechanisms and may manifest as:

  • resentment

  • poor decision-making

  • self-sabotage (a subconscious means of attempting to control)

  • social withdrawal

  • impatience and overreaction

  • hypervigilance

  • chronic overwhelm

  • increased stress and anxiety (possibly even leading to tremors, panic attacks, auto-immune disorders, and chronic bodily tension)

  • depression

  • fatigue

  • decreased immune system function

  • self-blaming

  • blaming others

If you’re nodding your head to all of this…

 be gentle.  

I’ve experienced all of it too. It’s just your brain doing its best to protect and take care of you. So tell your brain thank you. In fact, celebrate that your brain has done this for you. I mean it. Radical self-approval is the fastest way to break the cycle. Then know that it doesn’t have to continue this way.

Perhaps you’ve heard of people having a cathartic release during yoga, breathwork, chanting, a massage, or an acupuncture treatment.

This is a true release, not the malfunction that “comes out sideways” as destructive behavior.

It’s as though a hidden door magically opens that allows the energy to finally move up and out of the body.

This is the “opening up and emptying out” that the Slow & Wild practice can help make possible.

In his book “The Emotion Code,” Dr. Bradley Nelson explains what’s behind the body’s holding––and eventual releasing––of these energies. He says it’s essentially the true self wanting to express something that the false self doesn’t. Hence the tension or the “stuckness”.

The true self is the part of us that we are born with that is naturally open, curious, and trusting.

Whereas the false self emerges as a set of adaptive strategies to deal with pain and loss. This false self is essentially our ego or self-concept that is always fighting for its own survival, despite the fact that it’s really just a construct. It’s not who we really are, but it’s who we’ve told ourselves we are––and now our entire personality is built upon maintaining it.

This is why, as an adjunct to the emotional exploration and releasing we do in Slow & Wild’s sensual movement classes, in Slow & Wild Virtual, which delves deeper into personal development and facilitates the cultivation of your at-home Self-Reclamation Practice, we also incorporate “Parts Work” or “Separation Therapy”, giving us a lens to look at and care for the different parts of ourselves that we often keep hidden away due to shame or believing they are unacceptable. Our many parts are frequently in conflict with one another, which is another reason why self-sabotage occurs.

The work we do here helps end “true-self-repression” and tame self-sabotage by strengthening the “Adult Self”.

The part of the personality that legitimately needs to be in charge, properly tending to and guiding all the other parts toward harmony and wellness. All parts are welcomed and embraced, it’s just vital that Adult Self be ever-present, aware, and the one behind the wheel.

To that end, meditation – whether in stillness or somatic movement – allows us to be with our thoughts, sensations, and feelings in a present, watchful state.

But the catch? It’s not our thinking mind that can heal our thinking mind. The real healing happens in the ceasing of all effort.

Those are the true moments of self-reclamation. We let go and relax back into the “background” all-that-is energy – fractal and holographic – containing everything good and bad, light and dark, wholly pure and perverted AF – and remember, this is who we really are.

    ocean in a    

 but the entire 

NOT A SINGLE DROP IN THE OCEAN

    single drop    

It’s in this deconstruction of our identity as the “good girl” that we re-attune to our body’s innate wisdom and original nature, and come back home to ourselves.

Through

this work

You’re making a deeper connection to who you really are at your core––and becoming a more whole and complete version of yourself.

Apart from releasing core wounds and taking back full ownership of what we’ve deemed “The Main 10” aspects of your self-reclamation (body, voice, time, space, intuition, sensuality, sexuality, spirituality, desires, and passions), you’ll also likely experience the benefits of:

  • a stronger sense of agency and authority

  • easier access to both your soft feminine and your dark feminine, making you more fluid, present, receptive, playful, intriguing, and irresistible to both friends and lovers

  • the hard-to-describe seemingly endless source of energy and drive that naturally pours out of you when you’re once again attuned to “The Main 10” (sensuality, sexuality, desires, passions, etc.––there really is nothing else like this cumulative effect)

  • an increased ability to set and uphold healthy boundaries

  • a sense of more fully inhabiting your body and the present moment (AKA embodiment, rootedness, or groundedness)

  • learning healthy ways to meet your own needs

  • more ease in surrendering and letting go when necessary (which means conserving personal energy and reducing suffering, stress, and anxiety)

  • a significant increase in your tolerance for joy and pleasure

  • less “issues in your tissues” (which makes for a stronger immune system and a healthier, more open and receptive heart and body)

  • less mental fog and a clearer connection to your own body-wisdom and intuition

  • a more unshakable stability of self-worth (which means less settling; no longer excluding yourself from the things in life you’d previously convinced yourself you were okay not having… like mind-blowing sex, more money, and greater power and influence)

  • more resiliency and adaptability; a deepening trust in yourself and your capacity to navigate whatever your life may bring you

  • feeling more whole and integrated as a person

  • more freedom to be and share your true self unapologetically; bolder, freer self-expression (sexually and beyond)

  • easier access to your own turn-on (*this is key because erotic aliveness and power is your fuel for creativity and manifesting the vision you’ve always held for yourself)

  • feeling more comfortable and confident in your own skin

  • improved relationships and interactions with others

When you get to the point where you’re hiding nothing from yourself (because you’re always willing to use your practice to confront what binds you), then you can see yourself clearly.

That makes it a lot easier to make decisions you’ll be proud of and more consistently show up the way you want to.

You’ll stop taking your pain out on yourself, period.

Of course it takes time to get to the point where we’re good at “opening up and emptying out”. We first have to develop more awareness of emotions we might otherwise shrug off. We have to be intentional about noticing our own reactions and getting curious about the core wounds that are behind them.

This is one of the reasons we journal in Slow & Wild. It helps us note the times we’re hit with a strong emotion and physiological response (like a “gut punch” sensation or a knot in our stomach) so we can explore what triggered it. Logging this information can show us our patterns and help us source and release core wounds so they can stop wreaking havoc on our lives.

It’s similar to peeling back the layers of an onion.

I can think back to times when I’d sense something gnawing at me, bubbling up from deep within, that wouldn’t let me go. I’d feel terribly vulnerable and would wonder why I felt so upset. I was upset because there was a very important part of me that had been hiding out (repressed) for a long time… and wanted to come out.

Yes, it was sometimes terrifying and beyond overwhelming because I was afraid of what I might find and how it might rock the boat of my life. I still experience these big bubbling feelings! The difference now is that the moment I sense their presence, I begin to seek them out like a curious archaeologist roaming and illuminating dark caves with her torch.

These moments of facing vulnerable feelings with compassion and curiosity are the keys to reconnecting with our deepest selves and breaking free from the good girl prison.

If you find yourself in a similar experience sensing big, daunting feelings that trigger your vulnerability, don’t judge yourself. Instead, lock arms with us and lean in.

We see you, we get it, and we’ve got you. We’ll support you in being gentle and honest with yourself as you source and heal your core wounds and reclaim yourself.

All of our parts have goodness at their root. What have yours been trying to tell you?